An updated guide to new Malaysian terms


Ahh, don’t you miss the good old days, when life was simpler and words meant what everyone understood it to mean.

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Things are much more difficult these days. But fret not, cos here’s a rough guide.

Mongolia Mari/That woman: refers to murdered Mongolian woman Altantuya.

Katak: a term used to describe elected MPs and state reps who jump parties.

Jelapang Whore: refers to a certain female state rep from Perak.

To be a Kugan: To die in police custody.

CAT: used to refer to the feline family. Now it’s an acronym of Competence, Accountability and Transparency.

Technical visit: Holidays and shopping trips by local politicians and their families to places like Disneyland, Dubai and Paris.

Old ways: Referring to a time when Umno was stronger; where every taxi permit had to be endorsed by and Umno division chief, among others.

Balkis: A Travel and Shopping Club for wives of Umno politicians. membership includes free luxury shopping, gifts and travel.

Bapak Koridor: the politician formerly known as Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi.

Jimat: a term that used to mean savings or frugality. Now it means to “neutralise” a target. This is an internal code among the Police Special Forces (UTK).

Glokal: To rape country’s coffers and use the money for international visits.

BABI: formerly used to refer to the swine family. Now used in Umno circles as an acronym of Brother Anwar Bin Ibrahim.

Phantom voter: Dead people exercising their democratic right.

Democracy Tree: A certain tree underneath which a historic and unusual meeting took place.

Reservoir Dogs: Perak Assembly Speaker V.Sivakumar’s team of bodyguards.

Permodalan Negeri Selangor Bhd: The party that picks up the tab for political wives’ shopping and travel.

Kita kan Serumpun: the phrase used to justify how come a first generation Malaysian could be MB of a state when there are three generations of people still with Red IC.

Traitor: Anyone who questions Umno way of doing things.

Tempe: 1) A substance, the oral ingestion of which would make your sagging skin tight again. 2) A person who has successful treatment using above-mentioned substance.

Liposuction: A new way to die, for rich females of Malaysia.

Money politics: A whimsical way to describe buying your way into a political post. Ali Rustam still dunno what it means.

Merapatkan Saf: An Umno version of the huddle.

Kodomo Lion: The son of a guy once lauded as the Lion of Umno.

ISA: Ikut Suka Aku. The “Aku” refers to whoever’s in power.

To do a Bala: refers to an act where you make two contradicting statutory declaration, and then disappear.

Superpoke: To have allegedly anally violated someone against his will.

Katrina: A certain hotel in Batu Pahat with free CCTV coverage. Dunno if they offer breakfast.

2 Bukit, 1 Batang: Two hills and one river (what did you think??)

Destiny: refers to your firm conviction that it’s your hubby’s turn to be PM.

Specialist Instigators: what some insecure folks call bloggers.

Derhaka: a term to describe criticism of the sultans, when anyone other than Umno does it.

Now, feel better?

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10 thoughts on “An updated guide to new Malaysian terms

  1. What about ‘natang’? polite salutation for a Sultan only reserved for UMNO use only. And best of all, “money politics”- corruption and bribery that is not chargeable under malaysian law but only a disciplinary issue in UMNO. I also like to add ” mee segera” – goodies offered by UMNO and BN to get votes also not corruption and bribery and also not chargeable under Malaysian law…

  2. Pingback: Top Posts « WordPress.com

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