Backdoor Banditry, Conspiracy and the Meddling Yanks


Everybody and his next door neighbour’s mother-in-law are probably talking about nothing else for the past 5 days or so, in Malaysia.

Fact. Sodomy is illegal in Malaysia. So are a lot of other things like murder, criminal breach of trust, money laundering, insider trading, bribery, buggery (the inevitable result of coveting your neighbour’s rather cute Boer goat), sex with a minor (I could have sworn she was 30) etc…

I don’t know if homosexuality is illegal too. But we do have a lesbian in the Cabinet, so the Malaysian govt, despite its “moral” public stance, must not really care whether you’re gay. Word has it that we even blasted one into space.

Sorry for rambling on.

This post is about the erstwhile DPM Anwar Ibrahim and the fresh allegations of sodomy against him, this time by a young college dropout/aspiring pilot/volunteer staff at Anwar’s office.

Did he do it? Was it consensual? Does it matter since it is a crime anyway?

Ancient Mariner says he finds it too much of a stretch to believe that Anwar, a 61 year old with a bad back, can force himself on a 23-year old young man just about entering his physical prime. Yeah, kinda hard to fathom on this score.

If it was consensual, then why did the guy lodge a police report after that? The most obvious solution would be for money and celebrity. The young man’s camwhoring ways lend credence to the celebrity theory, and ah…face it, who doesn’t want money.

I’m no fan of Anwar. I found him kinda dodgy a long long time before 1998, and even before the Bahasa Baku period.

However, to assume truth in this young man Saiful’s allegation is to beggar your logic.

For one, we have to assume that Anwar is some kinda sex maniac who can suspend his sense of self preservation just to assuage his sexual need. C’mon, I believe that power is a greater aphrodisiac and the guy has been getting his fix from PKR’s impressive showing at the March polls.

For another, you’d also have to assume that Anwar is a grand fool who has not learnt a lesson from his 6-year ordeal. Even a dog will shy away from you if you hit it once. (Not that I condone animal cruelty, God forbid). I think Anwar may be many things. He may even have been sleeping with the Americans and Singapore (yeah, that friendly neighbour’s tip off about an assasination attempt)

But stupid he is not.

Even that rush to the Turkish Embassy (you may laugh) has a surface and subterranean explanation, if you think about it. But it is understandable when you consider that Rahim Noor actually gave him a black eye back then. The country’s highest ranking police officer, no less. If he is scared, he is justified.

So, Home Minister Syed Hamid Albar’s sniggering dismissal of Anwar and his defence of our police as being professionals, I will take as seriously as some people take Syed Hamid himself.

I read somewhere once that while his dad was known as the Lion of Umno in those “glory” days, Syed Hamid himself is known a Kodomo Lion.:)

Having said that, I do think that that was a bit of drama that Anwar played with the Turkish connection. Anwar is a showman after all.

And you know something? I think there is something in Shahrir Samad’s cheeky statement that how come a govt that is accused to be inept and flip flopping suddenly intelligent enough to engage in conspiracies.

Ezam says it is not a question of politics or conspiracy, it is rather a “soal peribadi, soal akhlak”. Why kinda makes me wonder, since Ezam himself was better looking than Saiful the alleged sodomy victim, how come Anwar didn’t make any advances to him…eh?

I’d like to say to Ezam that “Ini soal kredibiliti” and remind him of his own born-again status and how his “slayer of all things corrupt” platform doesn’t sit so well in that hotbed of corruption that is Umno.

So who fixed Anwar? Search me. I don’t think it is Wak Dollah. That guy has his hands full now. I don’t think its Dr M either. That guy would be more original.

Think about it.

In the meantime, I am more pissed off by this Tom Casey statement.

The United States said Monday it would oppose any politically motivated investigation or prosecution of Anwar and that it hoped there was no “pattern” in the new accusations against him.

“The main point for us is that the rule of law needs to stand above politics,” said US State Department spokesman Tom Casey.- AFP

The Malaysian govt has sent a protest note over this kinda interference, and rightly so. Those meddling Yanks have no place here. We are a sovereign nation, and we are not Mugabe’s Zimbabwe.

I’d like to point Mr Casey’s attention northeast-wards to that joke of a nation that is Burma/Myanmar now. They need help, yet you Yanks don’t bother with such humanitarian holocaust since you have nothing to gain.

Dubya just approved more than US100 billion to sustain the Iraq operations. May you live in interesting times.

To Wak Dollah, let this be a lesson. When you are perceived to be weak, the vultures circle. Snap out of that lethargy or just get the hell out of the hot seat.

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10 thoughts on “Backdoor Banditry, Conspiracy and the Meddling Yanks

  1. I am an American who marvels at the way the “sainted developing world” is so offended when the “evil Americans” act in America’s best interest – yet not so offended as to go beg someone else for money instead. In the case of this piece about the “meddling yanks” each is done in almost the same breath. I am proud that my nation has both the abilty and the inclination to be the most charitable on earth – as well as my contribution to that tradition – and we would rather you just say “thank you” for once and leave it at that.

  2. Good Guy that Ancient Mariner , But i can see the connection in him Backing Anwar , after all they are from The Big School, MCKK – where they spent their formative years.And dont bring in the being 61 story , my dad had a young Thai wife at 65 …….

  3. Dear totals4u,

    The evil Americans part was your contribution, not mine. But I must stand by the meddling Yanks comment. And speaking of charity, there is Japan, the Scandinavian nations, Australia and yes of course the United States. They all give. I will not forget USS Abraham Lincoln coming to the aid of the tsunami-stricken Aceh. And yes, thank you.

    But face it, you guys do meddle. A lot.

    If Saddam Hussein was a despot that subjugated Iraqis for decades, well, so is the Myanmar regime. So is Mugabe in Zimbabwe. And Angola, Sudan, Eritrea…hell, u wanna talk intervention? After the battle of Mogadishu, when u guys got ur ass kicked by that ass Farah Aidid, I guess US lost its appetite for Africa, didn’t it?

    Let’s just say that the American intervention is hardly to be accepted as benign…its track record is less than stellar.

  4. Again, beg for help and then demand where and how we implement it. Accused of meddling when we do get involved and asscused uncaring isolationism when we don’t. So would you have our nation get involved – involved as we see fit with our lives and our resources on the line – with the many countries around the world that have failed to successfully fight for their own freedom with their own lives and their own resources on the line…or would that just be meddling. As an American, I can tell you what the growing sentiment is here and I ask you to take it to heart: Scrape them off. All they do is bitch anyway – and take glee in our failures such as Somalia when they come – so just leave them to whatever befalls them. Close our borders, close our wallets, close our hearts, and let America work exclusively for Americans. The last time this sentiment was so strong in the US was following World War I, resulting in my nation hanging even the europeans out to dry for at least 2 years too long at the cost freedom, life, and history for millions. Neither good for America nor the world, isolation is the growing call and with friends like these, who can blame them?

  5. Ah, yes. It didn’t take long for the brilliant “get a life”. Don’t you understand that what I was explaining was that the overwhelming majority of citizens in my nation have exactly that – a life free of need, a life free of hunger, a life free of fear, a life free of censorship, a life free of religious persecution, and a life free of despotic rule. Our citizenry also overwhelmingly believes that the above are the inalienable rights of all mankind and have backed efforts by our nation to bring them to the world – you know, screwing with others – but are so fed up with being the target of ridicule (by the way, we like “Yankee”!) rather than appreciation and friendship that they are increasingly inclined to turn their backs on need in the world. You know, get a life – their own – and leave others to whatever life their despot, geographic climate, nieghbors, or civil war dictates they are deserving of.

  6. A life free of need and hunger? You still have lots of homeless and needy people in your country. In my country, the poor does not live in cardboard boxes. We do not need medical insurance b’cos healthcare is still generally affordable.

    A life free of censorship? American TV and movies are more censored than Europe, I’ll tell u. America is as paternalistic as they come, and I don’t mean it as a bad thing.

    Free of religious persecution? C’mon, the reality is very different, especially after 911, which is a tragedy I would not wish on my worst enemy, let alone innocents.

    Free of despotic rule? I’d say Bush is no Mugabe, but hey, look at the havoc he’s wreaking on the world, just b’cos some CIA hack told him that the road to Bin Laden is through Iraq.

    Now everyday, some poor soldier dies. And u have a presidential candidate who dances a jig to the tune BOMB Iran. and is prepared to keep the troops in Iraq for the next 100 years.

    What’s frightening is, this guy just might become the president of US, and therefore, the chief Big Brother of the world.

    There still aren’t any explanation from you as to why US is rather selective as to which part of the world they wanna play in.

    Myanmar needs help, don’t you think? Your military might can certainly liberate a country where monks are gunned down, a country that is decades behind the rest of the world.

    North Korea and Iran are deemed dangerous cos they have nukes, but Pakistan has them too, and that is a turbulent nation. Yet, cos it is a US ally, it is seen as ok. Double standards?

    I salute your patriotism, man, but bear in mind that small though we may be as a nation, we are patriots too, and that no sovereign nation likes interference.

  7. Yet again, “no sovereign nation likes interference” out of one side of your mouth and demands for help in others. How easy you find it to tell another nation how it should conduct its business while reguarding some official from my nation saying “our concern is the adherece to the rule of law” as heavy-handed. Seemingly bright, I can only guess that your remarkable inaccuracies as to conditions in the US has to do with being fed the negative from someone with an anti-American agenda. Let’s take them one at a time…

    A nation without poor would be impossible as some simply refuse to be helped. Homelessness is a good example. The homeless in my nation are almost exclusively comprised of drug addicts, mentally ill, and transients that will not be helped without making them against their will. By the way, I’ve travelled my nation from sea to shining sea and from border to border for nearly 4 decades yet have never seen anyone living in a cardboard box. Where do you get this stuff?

    True, medical care is expensive is expensive in the US. Largely driven by a population with an average age much higher than most of the world and a population that demands cutting edge, expensive care while absorbing the cost of caring for some 20 million illegal aliens. Remember, many of the same world leaders that have sold their nations on socialised medicine for their citizenry – along with long waits for treatment – either insist on personal physicians trained in American Universities or travel here when it comes to treatment for themselves and their families.

    Television censorship is more stringent in the US compared to Europe – when it comes to nudity, violence, and profanity. When it comes to thoughts and ideas that are contrary to the interests of the government it most certainly is not as anyone who watches American TV can attest to the extreme. As far as movies, or subscription movies channels on TV for that matter, there are no restrictions whatsoever federally although municipalities can attempt to pass laws against pornography.

    There is no religious persecution allowed in my nation by any governmental institution at any level. Individuals of course can hate if they want as they are free to do so. Are you aware that there are communities with large muslim populations in the US with broadcast towers for the Islamic call to prayer, blaring out over muslims and non-muslims five times per day?

    The elected and re-elected President Bush is hardly a despot. Remember, his sworn oath is to uphold the US Constitution, the laws of the land, and to protect American citizens from all enemies within or without. He most certainly did not swear an oath to subvert the interests of his nation to that of other nations. Many disagree with many of his decisions but never doubt that he makes them in what he sees as the best interest of our citizens.

    Yes, soldiers die. As they did in the American Revolutionary War that earned our nation’s independence from the then-dictatorial British and without question will again when the security of our country and the freedom of our people is endangered. The words of the US Declaration of Independence that are 232 years old today were brilliant and inspiring but backing up the words of Patrick Henry – “as for me, Give me Liberty or Give me Death” – with blood was neccessary to give them any value.

    As for Senator John McCain you have missed the character of this man completely. Bombing Iran is not desired by the United States and certainly not by Senator McCain – yet, understand, that if Israel feels it must to stop a despot who has stated that he will nuke them off the face of the earth given the opportunity then the US will stand with Israel. If we can prevent it we will but we won’t ask Israel to commit suicide. As for 100 years in Iraq…hasn’t it been that long already? Seriously, anyone who actually heard what Senator McCain said clearly knows he was making the point that the duration is less important that the effectiveness.

    I thought I did explain our “selectivity”. The exposure of our nation’s resources and our nation’s lives are made in the best interest of our nation. We believe that charity and making possible the freedom of all mankind are critical but ultimately for a government to act in opposition to the best interest of its nation is treasoness.

    Pakistan as an ally is a bit of a stretch. Maybe a marraige of convenience for each at best. Let’s see, 189 of the world’s 194 countries are currently party to the 1968 Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. India, Pakistan, Israel, and North Korea are not. Libya was caught receiving nuclear hardware from Malaysia by the US and dismantled their program. South Africa had been a nuclear power and under US-led international pressure (the South African Ambassador to the US signed the NNPT) dismantled their program. North Korea withdrew from the treaty in 2003 but the historic events of the last week, come to pass under pressure from the 6-party talks that included South Korea, Japan, Russia, China, and the US, seems to indicate their rejoining. Iran refuses to negotiate with the US and the Europeans have failed to make progress so here we are. India, under a 2006 deal with the US, has thusfar increased the number of its reactor sites dedicated solely to civilian power use to 14 (complete with IAEA inspection as per the deal) of 22 and the work goes on. A similar deal desired by Pakistan was nixed by the US (in agreement with world opinion) because, yes, they are a turbulent nation and also manufactured the hardware North Korea received from Malaysia. Double standards? To a degree with India and clearly with Isreal (who has never admitted to being a nulear power despite the concensus). Hey, we’ve been working at the forefront on this for decades with success and failure. If you’ve got any ideas, we’ll take all the help we can get!

    And we salute your patriotism back! Malaysia is a spectacular nation that you sound rightly proud of. Might I suggest that you likely are also “concerned about the adherance to the rule of law” in your country.

  8. Babe.

    I wanted to comment about your “meddling yanks” part a while ago but I noticed we have a verbose yank in here. But I’ll go on anyway.

    Frankly, I don’t have an issue with Tom Casey’s statement. Yes, he did infer that the Malaysian government has made up this accusation for political reasons. And heck, I think 90% of Malaysian citizens believe that as well.

    We just don’t like it that the Americans have said it.

    But at the end of the day, if the Malaysian government is innocent, its collective feathers should not be ruffled. Why give the Americans more credit than they’re due anyway?

  9. Sex and the C4

    Sodomy is a useful word
    recently said and heard,
    in Malaysian homes and offices
    it’s all about famous orifices.
    What is going on, you wonder
    when Bala steals the thunder,
    finger pointing the magic word
    to the delight of a horny herd
    Organs united, names forgotten?
    VIPs are really rotten
    Saifool he knows and did not know
    doubts about Aminah begin to grow
    of whose loose lips he was afraid
    but liked her other end instead;
    of course he knew it wasn’t right
    but it felt so good and tight!
    You could not hump like Greeks
    the Hindenburg’s fat cheeks;
    what her hubby found so succulent
    was making Rosmah trucculent.
    And so she thought, the time was due
    for a nice Mongolian barbecue.
    Enter the analyst, not so anal,
    who found the girl too banal;
    fearing supernatural harm
    from her juicy feminine charm,
    he hired Bala straightaway
    to keep the honeytrap at bay
    but private dicks were of no match
    for Aminah’s superlative snatch
    and now that Najib had had his fill,
    he would not share the till;
    right after the submarine deal,
    Aminah’s fate he would seal.
    Now Rosmah had one idea
    on how to kenakan dia
    “Let’s bomb the bombshell,
    let’s send her to hell.”
    Thus perished the hapless beauty
    after translation and booty duty;
    now Rosmah’s ass was happy
    until one blogger got yappy;
    this Hindenburg nearly caught fire
    yet to sue she has no desire.
    But Najib’s part in this murder
    will travel much further;
    despite his media actions
    and one or two retractions,
    some questions will remain
    a big part of his bane–
    how did Altantuya really die?
    and why did he have to lie?
    Did he pay off Bala savvily,
    or threaten to C4 his family?
    What acts could be more despised?
    With his money, we’re not surprised;
    after all, he’s such a bully beast,
    to him and him alone, at least,
    magic words that cannot apply–
    are useful for making rivals die.

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