Pak Lah and Khairy Win Top Awards


I just adore Husin Lempoyang. His sometimes wry, other times wickedly funny digs cannot fail to leave you in stitches.

However, this particular posting is a high quality gem in the world of political satire in Bahasa Melayu.

Malaysians, go read it. If you can’t understand, go back to school. If Loh Gwo Burne can take BM tuition, and you should too. It is the Bahasa Kebangsaan.

BN losses affect Singaporean Ministers’ salaries?


ROFL!

According to Talking Cock, always a playful pain in the ass of the Singapore government,  it did.

Go read some COCK stuff here. It is good for you to laugh and relieve that post-election stress. Especially if you lost your deposit.

On another note (he sent a letter, I mean), Lee Hsien Loong congratulated Pak Lah on his “win” and the formation of a new government.

Vote PUNDAK!


Yup…I had been named the Parti Undi Rosak candidate for Teluk Kemang Parliamentary constituency.

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Calon Teluk Kemang.

What are u staring at? You jealous you’re not named? Lu Suey maa.

I have much faith in the party and will not let it down. I’m running against MIC incumbent Datuk S.Sothinathan. You know the guy. The MIC fighter cock who was suspended from parliament for 3 months, almost two years ago, for speaking (or rather crowing) his mind. He is seeking reelection.

And of course that PKR guy…Whatshisface bin Whatshisname. I went over to visit the voters last weekend. and found lotsa disgruntled ones.

One apparently chased Sothinathan with this broom.

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Why? Cos he apparently said “I don’t need Indian votes to win”. Heheh. Nice.

I thank Sothi for increasing my chances of winning. I promise the people of Port Dickson (old name for Teluk Kemang constituency) that president Pazuzu himself will come down and personally thank them for their support all these years.

Hidup Pundak!

Ideally Idle, Speculative Saturday


My mind was bent on the satire mode for a while, hence the last three posts. Tell me, why shouldn’t I write postings pillorying the sorry state of affairs in this country, when the mainstream media can indulge in it to a ridiculous extent?

Here are some choice bits of the spin doctors’ and toadies’ editorial pie since December started, for your collective inspection. Some of course, don’t need to be spun, they are born as gems of inanity.

1. Have healthy fun with bike-racing, rather than joining illegal rallies.

2. Youth Pollution Index climbs steadily.

3. Protests are good appetite suppressants.

4. Pulp Fiction.

5. For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow, he’s a jolly good fellow….

Cukup laaa…., now go do some useful things, like that mountain of laundry that is stinking in the corner.

“Protests Good for Business”


Kuala Lumpur: Protests have actually been good for businesses in the city, says a group of businessmen and women, who came out in protest of this statement in the papers today.

Long Budiman Long Pasia, a mineral water vendor, said business was unusually brisk during the BERSIH and HINDRAF rallies in the city.

“I ran out of bottles early during the BERSIH gathering so when the SMS went around on the HINDRAF gathering, I ordered an extra TEU (20 feet equivalent unit) container of mineral water.”

Long Budiman who has a kiosk near Angkasaraya building in Jalan Ampang, said both the protesting masses and the riot police stationed there were his customers.

“You know, whenever they shoot tear gas, you need lots of water to wash away the sting,” he said.

Meanwhile, Kuala Lumpur’s LRT and Monorail operators also reported a sharp surge in passenger volume during the two major events.

Singaporean tourists Mah Siew Beng and Rachel Thew followed the two major rallies on Aljazeera International and in anticipation of a similar crowd on the Human Rights day walk, made their way to Kuala Lumpur by bus.

“We don’t see things like this in our country. Thailand is not very safe after the coup d’ etat, so the thought of seeing a public protest with our own eyes was like a dream coming true, that is why we came here.”

The couple however was disappointed because the Dec 9 gathering was not as big and there were much more policemen than marching people on Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman.

However, NOT in support of street protests were the All Kuala Lumpur Streetwalkers Union (AKULESU) who said streetwalking has been a right they had fought for since the early days of Kuala Lumpur.

“Suddenly everyone is out on the streets. What? You think anyone can walk the streets? You need the know how, you need experience,” said union secretary Ling Chau Hai.

She laments the loss of identity of KL streetwalkers if public protests are allowed to continue.

“How to stand out, when there are thousands of people in the streets? Don’t throw sand into people’s rice bowl laa,” she cried.

Attempted Murder Charge Dropped, Killing 3


Kuala Lumpur: Three people were killed today when Attorney General Tan Sirap Guni Pataik dropped the attempted murder charge against 31 Hindraf supporters.

The incident happened in front of dozens of witness including a judge and numerous defence lawyers in a courtroom in the federal capital.

The dead were identified as policemen Lans Kpl Tunggu anak Lintah and Kons Karupusamy a/l Vellaisamy and court interpreter Nur Tejemah binti Bukuman, who were all pinned under the dropped charge.

Guni attempted to flee, aghast at the deaths, but were quickly overpowered by some of the 31 Hindraf supporters.

He was led away later, screaming, “I didn’t mean to kill them,” before a well-meaning unidentified member of the public silenced him with a pavement brick.

Justice Wan Tukiman Wan Rugiman, when met outside the court, said in his 15 years as a judge, he had yet to see a death in the courtroom.

“That too one committed by an officer of the court,” he said, before being interupted by a phone call.

“Ok, that’s all for today, my broker is calling,” he said, before continuing with the call “…Yes, Mr Singam, about the deal you proposed yesterday…”