Euphoria in Misery

Update:

PKR is absolutely surprised. Me? I’m speechless. Maybe, like Sheih says, no one dies a virgin, cos life screws us all. In Balasubramaniam’s case, two probability. One is, conscience made him retract what was a lie of a statutory declaration. Two, he’s in fear for his life and those of his family.

Yeah, who can you trust these days. The police? Pah! Speaking of the police, I read of joint exercises with the army recently.

In the light of what’s happening now, I wouldn’t be surprised that the PROTES scheduled for this Sunday in Padang Timur (that is now moved to Kelana Jaya Stadium) will see the presence of rifle-wielding “Abangs” in green, and army trucks on the road.

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Man…this is getting more and more convoluted.

Private Investigation P.Balasubramaniam retracted part of his stunning Statutory Declaration yesterday. The juicy part where he had alleged that Najib introduced Altantuya to Razak, and that Altantuya “is susceptible to anal sex.”

Source: Malaysiakini

He said he was forced to make the SD yesterday. I did think the part about anal sex was a bit forced. His lawyer is missing. Meanwhile, I wonder what is happening with Saiful Bukhari.

What I think? At this point in time I’d trust a crack whore more than our politicians.

Enuff said.

This guy is the MP for Pasir Salak. For those who read Sejarah Malaysia, Pasir Salak is a proud symbol of Malay pride in “menentang penjajah.”

This was purported where British Resident J.W.W Birch was killed by local hero Maharajalela, for screwing around with local chicks. If this were true, I’d say good riddance to guys who can’t keep it in their pants.

Back to present time. Tajuddin Abdul Rahman is a first term MP from this Perak constituency who somehow managed to hang on to his seat despite the PAS onslaught of March 8.

This Six Million Dollar Man (his nomme de guerre) seems to have bonded well with the Kinabatangan canine Bung Mukhtar Din to form some kind of tag team in Parliament.

What makes this guy different from the former Jasin and Jerai MPs is that this guy is far more virulently nationalistic, and I don’t mean nationalistic in a flattering way.

He refers to the non-Malays in Malaysia as “pendatang,” as in all Mon-Malays in this country are “pendatang asing”. He apparently said so on July 1 in Parliament.

If that is indeed what he said, then I must say he is mistaken about many things. Firstly, I’m a second generation Malaysian. My grandfather was a migrant, yes, but my dad and later me, were born here. That makes me a legitimate Malaysian citizen. So how am I a pendatang?

Secondly, he must define what he means by Malay. Every other Malay friend I ask says he/she is Bugis, Mendahiling, Jawa, Aceh, Minang, Penang Malay (Jawi Peranakan).. hell, even Boyan. A lot of them are mixed.

And if you bother to check, you might find that Khir Toyo’s dad was an Indonesian and Khir himself is a first generation Malaysian. Khir Toyo was the MB of Selangor, cos you guys just lump all the Melayu-looking fellas under the Bumiputra title. Why? “Kita kan serumpun” goes the reply.

He has said before that the Bumiputera students’ scholarship quota should not suffer just because JPA wants to increase the percentage of non-Bumis to get scholarship.

He wants to mollycoddle students like Saiful Bukhari who had gone to the DPM’s house ostensibly to get help regarding scholarship, when he only managed 1.69 GPA, and has since dropped out of Uniten?

In the meantime, some high-achieving but poor student has his dreams destroyed because of his name, or colour.

When we go out of the country, we are called Malaysians…that’s it. When some Malaysian makes good overseas, he is still known as a Malaysian, not a Malaysian Chinese.

I have long stepped beyond this stupid categorisation. Many of us have.

I just think in Tajuddin’s case, it would take a frontal lobotomy for him to see the multiracial reality of Malaysia and embrace it.

Woo Hoo!

What else can we call what’s happening in the country these days? There’s murder, conspiracy, abuse of power, cover ups, fraud, nepotism (he ain’t heavy, he’s my menantu), sex (hetero and homo), love (”I’ll stand by my fiance in my pink mary janes”) and even a Mongolian bomoh!

Better than whatever locally-produced drama on TV, that’s for sure. But pity those producers, cos I don’t think RTM will probably treat the word “liwat” like some kinda blasphemy and can the drama. Sorry, we’re Malaysians, we don’t sodomise each other. Yeah Right!

Anyway, back to the Anwar expose today, it is explosive shit. Duck! Some shrapnel might hit you yet.

Malaysiakini has an early story.

In a gist, Razak Baginda’s ex-PI (u know, like Magnum PI) Balasubramaniam said in a sworn affidavit that that Najib is linked with Altantuya back in the early days.

Also, Balasubramaniam alleges that details contained in his cautioned statement taken during the investigation has since been purged. Read his statutory declaration.

I reproduce this very very juicy bit.

25. During this discussion and in an attempt to persuade me to continue my employment with him, Abdul Razak Baginda informed me that:

2) Najib Razak informed Abdul Razak Baginda that he had a sexual relationship with Aminah and that she was susceptible to anal intercourse.

ROFL… Am I to assume that most of our politicians like the backdoor entry?

More at Pakatan Rakyat website and Anwar Ibrahim’s blog.

Press reports also say that the prosecution has wrapped up its case.

You know guys, as I step back and observe the chain of events…I can’t help but think of the Butterfly Effect. One thing I can say that as any system that evolves with time is subject to the Chaos Theory.

Well, isn’t this country in chaos now? I can equate the gentle flap of the butterfly’s wings with the first stirrings in some politician’s pants, or some power-crazy gleam in a would be autocrat’s eyes more than two decades ago, or even the first daytime yawn of a sleepy Prime Minister as early as 5 years ago.

Follow my thought? If you put some of the individual happenings in the past 20 years together chronologically, you can chart the progress of the snowball.

And here we are today. What’s better, it is not over yet.

Have fun. Events are getting more interesting by the day.

Bring your own popcorns though.

Since yesterday, many people have been deprived their daily dose of “hot” stuff at Malaysia Today. It’s been hacked. Still not up and running yet. If there is an alternate or mirror site, pls lemme know.

Here’s another bit. Bursa Malaysia has also suspended trading since this morning, citing hardware failure. Details like this one remind us that we are still very much Third World. I think backups did not exist or someone screwed with Plan B too.

Technology has become so intrinsic to our lives that a small glitch/breakdown can affect the whole country. Maybe its long past due that we pay attention to security and maintenance.

In the early 90s, an explosion at a power station in Paka, Terengganu affected the entire power grid in the Peninsular with hundreds of millions in losses, and lots of homes and offices in darkness.

This has recurred in somewhat smaller scale, twice since. Once in 1996 and once a couple of years ago affecting the central region.

Hackings happen so often, and for RPK it must be a fact of life. I guess he just needs to upgrade security at his site.

But Bursa Malaysia does trade. It is imperative that they fix this so it doesn’t recur. I wonder if such a breakdown happens in Singapore or Hong Kong.

Everybody and his next door neighbour’s mother-in-law are probably talking about nothing else for the past 5 days or so, in Malaysia.

Fact. Sodomy is illegal in Malaysia. So are a lot of other things like murder, criminal breach of trust, money laundering, insider trading, bribery, buggery (the inevitable result of coveting your neighbour’s rather cute Boer goat), sex with a minor (I could have sworn she was 30) etc…

I don’t know if homosexuality is illegal too. But we do have a lesbian in the Cabinet, so the Malaysian govt, despite its “moral” public stance, must not really care whether you’re gay. Word has it that we even blasted one into space.

Sorry for rambling on.

This post is about the erstwhile DPM Anwar Ibrahim and the fresh allegations of sodomy against him, this time by a young college dropout/aspiring pilot/volunteer staff at Anwar’s office.

Did he do it? Was it consensual? Does it matter since it is a crime anyway?

Ancient Mariner says he finds it too much of a stretch to believe that Anwar, a 61 year old with a bad back, can force himself on a 23-year old young man just about entering his physical prime. Yeah, kinda hard to fathom on this score.

If it was consensual, then why did the guy lodge a police report after that? The most obvious solution would be for money and celebrity. The young man’s camwhoring ways lend credence to the celebrity theory, and ah…face it, who doesn’t want money.

I’m no fan of Anwar. I found him kinda dodgy a long long time before 1998, and even before the Bahasa Baku period.

However, to assume truth in this young man Saiful’s allegation is to beggar your logic.

For one, we have to assume that Anwar is some kinda sex maniac who can suspend his sense of self preservation just to assuage his sexual need. C’mon, I believe that power is a greater aphrodisiac and the guy has been getting his fix from PKR’s impressive showing at the March polls.

For another, you’d also have to assume that Anwar is a grand fool who has not learnt a lesson from his 6-year ordeal. Even a dog will shy away from you if you hit it once. (Not that I condone animal cruelty, God forbid). I think Anwar may be many things. He may even have been sleeping with the Americans and Singapore (yeah, that friendly neighbour’s tip off about an assasination attempt)

But stupid he is not.

Even that rush to the Turkish Embassy (you may laugh) has a surface and subterranean explanation, if you think about it. But it is understandable when you consider that Rahim Noor actually gave him a black eye back then. The country’s highest ranking police officer, no less. If he is scared, he is justified.

So, Home Minister Syed Hamid Albar’s sniggering dismissal of Anwar and his defence of our police as being professionals, I will take as seriously as some people take Syed Hamid himself.

I read somewhere once that while his dad was known as the Lion of Umno in those “glory” days, Syed Hamid himself is known a Kodomo Lion.

Having said that, I do think that that was a bit of drama that Anwar played with the Turkish connection. Anwar is a showman after all.

And you know something? I think there is something in Shahrir Samad’s cheeky statement that how come a govt that is accused to be inept and flip flopping suddenly intelligent enough to engage in conspiracies.

Ezam says it is not a question of politics or conspiracy, it is rather a “soal peribadi, soal akhlak”. Why kinda makes me wonder, since Ezam himself was better looking than Saiful the alleged sodomy victim, how come Anwar didn’t make any advances to him…eh?

I’d like to say to Ezam that “Ini soal kredibiliti” and remind him of his own born-again status and how his “slayer of all things corrupt” platform doesn’t sit so well in that hotbed of corruption that is Umno.

So who fixed Anwar? Search me. I don’t think it is Wak Dollah. That guy has his hands full now. I don’t think its Dr M either. That guy would be more original.

Think about it.

In the meantime, I am more pissed off by this Tom Casey statement.

The United States said Monday it would oppose any politically motivated investigation or prosecution of Anwar and that it hoped there was no “pattern” in the new accusations against him.

“The main point for us is that the rule of law needs to stand above politics,” said US State Department spokesman Tom Casey.- AFP

The Malaysian govt has sent a protest note over this kinda interference, and rightly so. Those meddling Yanks have no place here. We are a sovereign nation, and we are not Mugabe’s Zimbabwe.

I’d like to point Mr Casey’s attention northeast-wards to that joke of a nation that is Burma/Myanmar now. They need help, yet you Yanks don’t bother with such humanitarian holocaust since you have nothing to gain.

Dubya just approved more than US100 billion to sustain the Iraq operations. May you live in interesting times.

To Wak Dollah, let this be a lesson. When you are perceived to be weak, the vultures circle. Snap out of that lethargy or just get the hell out of the hot seat.

Indians. This word in this context refers to Malaysians of Indian Origin

Snake. Refers to the legless reptile species that mostly glide and slither on the ground. Feared by most people because many of its are poisonous.

Umno Bitch. A female member of Umno. Often makes foot-in-the mouth, stupid, dangerous statements just to curry favour with the establishment “Abangs”. In this context, a particularly sickening specimen that survived the March 8 political upheaval to be a State Assembly rep from Sungai Rapat, Perak.

Seeing as how the Wanita Umno representation in the Cabinet has been so pathetically pruned, Umno Bitch’s snake or Indian rhetoric could be a valiant attempt at catching the attention of mass media, and hopefully again, the party elders, whom I heard are regular drinkers of the famed Kopi Jantan.

It’s about political survival, I guess. Even those ladies and “ladies” in Bukit Bintang and Chow Kit are reportedly throwing in “extras” together with discounts to ensure some trade in these difficult times where everything also naik, and therefore adversely affecting the crucial thing that hitherto always ensured the world’s oldest profession remain recession-proof.

Poor women. Poor Sungai Rapat. You gotta get what you can. Never mind if you imply that it is preferable to kill some 7% of the country’s population than to kill a snake.

I’m not saying a snake’s life is less than a human’s. God knows the snake population of Malaysia is threatened by this new-found taste for reptiles by some of our Vietnam, Thailand and Cambodia-frequenting local fellas. But that is a whole other story that merits it own post.

Back to Sungai Rapat. (Pic borrowed without permission from Minaq Jinggo.)

She has since apologised for her statement. I think to begin with, if she takes exception to the Perak State Assembly Speaker’s double standards (and I don’t deny the may be such things), this should not be her first reaction.

That she equates the Speaker (who is of Indian descent) with snakes, (implicit rather than explicit) reflects a thoughtless person. If spontaneity is often held to be the true reaction, then this Wanita Umno bitch actually thinks its preferable to kill an Indian to a snake. She is the type of Melayu that triggers the equally knee-jerk Hindraf manifesto-writing Indian.

Makcik Pidah, this is the quality of women leaders you have in Umno.

Ptui!

Headline says it all. Shud have updated my blog when I knew abt this yesterday. Sorry, my bad.

The All Blogs event is postponed to next Saturday, July 5. Cos this weekend is the Anti ISA event. But other details still stand. For full details of what I’m talking about, go here.

Next week folks, let’s make your YBs dance to your tune. Who knows, they might even tango along. Some may be shy and shimmy away, but I know one that won’t mind singing

I was discussing this Mercedes commercial with my boss.

We both enjoyed this wicked ad. But then he made this sobering observation that such an ad would invite a lot of brickbats, were it aired in Malaysia. Why? Too risque? Yeah yeah, no sex please we are Malaysians.

That said, this is a witty idea with a twist in the tail. Enjoy.

From now on, I will post some of the killer commercials from around the world. Some of them are just too great not to be shared.

Enjoy!

Yup. It’s happening.

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